A GROSS War
by NMMacc18
Summary: Calvin finds out that Susie has made her own club to rival G.R.O.S.S. How does he respond to this? By declaring war against her club, of course. Will Calvin and Hobbes manage to defeat Susie's Club? Will G.R.O.S.S. have a triumph for once? Probably not.
1. A New Threat

**Chapter 1: Another Meeting**

It was another peaceful, summer day in Chargrin Falls, Ohio. The sun was shinning, the birds were chirping, and so forth.

However, it was also 8:30 in the morning, with Hobbes exhausted, and Calvin ready, you probably have a good idea what they were up to.

"This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. will come to order! With Dictator for Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes Presiding!" Calvin said triumphantly.

"I still say this could've waited until 10 o'clock." Hobbes said tired and grumbling.

"Oh shut up you furball, you sleep half the time anyway, so deal with it. Now get on with the minutes." Calvin said.

Hobbes grumbled and grabbed the minutes from the last G.R.O.S.S. meeting.

"10:30 am, Dictator for Life calls meeting to order. 10:31 am, President and First Tiger reads minutes of previous meeting. 10:32 am, Dictator for Life challenges President and First Tiger's minutes for supposedly 'insulting' him."

"Well you were! You called my ingenious plan unrealistic furball!"

"10:33 am, Dictator for Life goes on hypocritical rage, and unjustly gives President and First Tiger 20 demerits for insulting him."

"UNJUSTLY?! YOU DESERVED THOSE DEMERITS!"

"10:36 am, After a few minutes of debating over hypocritical, blows are exchanged due to the Dictator for Life unjust kick to the shin to the President and First Tiger."

"YOU OVERREACTED TO THAT, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"10:40 am, Fighting stops after precipitation is noticed, but Dictator for Life refuses to stop meeting. 10:42 am, Dictator for Life ends meeting after hearing Thunder and runs back into the house like a wimp."

"WIMP?! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WIMP FURBALL?!"

"Me, obviously." Hobbes said sticking out his tongue.

Calvin grabbed the G.R.O.S.S. notebook and scribbled something down.

"What are you doing now?" Hobbes asked.

"You get 25 demerits for making me look bad during the reading of the minutes, plus another 10 for questioning me for having the meeting early, as well as another 30 for sticking your tongue out at me." Calvin said as he wrote down the demerits.

"Your a tyrant." Hobbes said annoyed.

"Okay, just for THAT you get another 50 demerits for using the word tyrant to insult me!" Calvin said.

"You know, you never let me get to the fact that Susie has a club called G.A.A.C. now." Hobbes said.

"G.A.A.C.? What does that stand for?" Calvin asked.

"Girls Alliance Against Calvin." Hobbes replied.

"WHEN DID YOU FIND THIS OUT?!" Calvin said.

"A little while ago." Hobbes said.

"And now for neglecting to tell me about a threat to our club, you get another 75 demerits." Calvin replied.

"I'd say we try and make an alliance with them." Hobbes said.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"No."

"You get another 25 demerits for idiotic suggestion." Calvin said as he logged it in the notebook.

"So then what are we going to do about it?" Hobbes asked.

"You get another 10 demerits for asking a question in which the answer is blatantly obvious." Calvin said as he logged the demerits in.

"Which is..." Hobbes said trying to figure it out.

"It's simple furball. We're going to war against G.A.A.C."


	2. The War

**Sorry for an extremely long delay to this, I've been busy with stuff outside here, so I'm just getting this done as quickly as I can. But don't worry, Calvin and Hobbes 2: World Tour is going to be coming in the next few days!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: The War**

Calvin was hiding behind a tree, he was waiting for the right moment. He was spying on Susie and Mr. Bun, who were having a G.A.A.C. meeting.

 _ **SPLOSH!**_

"CALVIN!"

"Oh! Uh, hi Susie, what are you doing here on this fine day?" Calvin said, trying to act like he didn't do anything.

"I knew you threw that water balloon Calvin! So let it out! Why did you do it?!"

"Oh! Uh...It's a..."

"A what?!"

"A DECLARATION OF WAR!"

"WHAT?!"

"That's right! G.R.O.S.S. has officially declared war against G.A.A.C!"

"So that's how you want to play huh?"

"Yeah! But don't be surprised when G.R.O.S.S. comes ou-GHAGAONG!"

Calvin never finished his sentence as Susie sprayed him with a water gun.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Calvin vowed.

So the rest of the day basically went with Calvin trying to attack Susie, but Susie outdid him every time, and Calvin gave Hobbes demerits and such, but the last straw for Calvin came when Susie used Calvin's water balloon trap against him.

"YOU FURBALL! WHY DIDN'T YOU MAUL HER?!"

"Because I didn't feel like it." Hobbes replied.

"THAT'S IT! For that you get 150 demerits for not mauling Susie when you had the chance, and for being lazy, and just because!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"I've had it! I'm going to put an end to this, my way! A brilliant way..BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Calvin said walking away, while Hobbes groaned.


	3. A Failing End

**Chapter 3: A Failing End**

Calvin looked at his house, and no, he wasn't looking at the outside of the house, he was looking at the roof.

Why you may ask?

Because he was making sure his "ultimate trap" was perfect for Susie.

The roof was filled with water balloons, piles of mud, water, and various other items, and they were being held by a rope with a wooden blocker that would fall if the rope was moved through a lever Calvin made.

Calvin went over to the lever by Hobbes.

"You ready to recite the script?"

"Sure..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Gee Hobbes! I hope Susie doesn't hear of our plan to win!"

"I agree..."

"I am the best! I am the greatest! G.R.O.S.S. will prevail!"

This went on for a while, and Hobbes snuck away when Calvin wasn't looking.

When Calvin stopped, he noticed Hobbes was gone.

"Hobbes? Where did you go?" Calvin said as he ran to the front of the house, and stepped on the lever, which triggered the trap...

You can probably imagine what happened next as it all came down on Calvin.

 _ **ARRRGGHHHHH-SPLOSH!**_

"What on earth was that?" Calvin's Mom said as she decided to go outside to see the front yard a trash heap thanks to Calvin.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" She screamed.

"Oh great..."

"Calvin?! What is the meaning of this?! I demand an explanation this second!"

"IT WAS SUSIE'S FAULT!" Calvin yelled.

Susie, who had come and seen the damage, heard Calvin say this and got in the argument.

"YOUR the one who started this!"

"Did not!"

"How did you make my front yard a trash heap?!"

Meanwhile, Calvin's Dad was coming home from work when he pulled up and saw everything going on.

"On second thought, I'm just going to go rent a motel room for the night." He said as he drove away.

Meanwhile, Hobbes was watching this all unfold from Calvin's room.

"I knew he would fail." He said as he laughed and went back to drawing mustaches in Calvin's comic books.

 **THE END**


End file.
